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’ I hit the button to retrieve the message and a voice I had heard before came on. It was Fuchs. ‘Hey, Sweetwalker, the copier on twelve just died. Let’s go pencilhead!’ Wonderful. * * * I finally managed to unjam the copier that Fuchs fucked up and headed home around eight o’clock. By then my clothes had dried and were as stiff as cardboard. All I wanted to do was get a shower and get something to eat, preferably something other than fish parmesan. I walked up to the front door, unlocked it and entered. There in the middle of the living room floor was a present from my dog Jack and a mighty present it was rising majestically nearly six inches from the carpet. The saddest part about that moment was that I didn’t even smell it. My own stench was drowning it out. ‘Priscilla?’ I yelled up the stairs for my daughter. ‘Priscilla, why is there a pile of dog shit the size of a Studebaker on the floor down here? Don’t you know how to let the dog out?’ There was no response. That’s when I. But enough said about that.“Mitch, I’m afraid that ... someone else already beat you to the punch. I belong to my son now. As does my hubby, whom you are correct is a wimp and cuck, and so does his daughter, my own stepdaughter. My son, Simon, is the boss around here. He wears the pants, to the extent that anyone bothers putting on any pants at all. He decides how things go. If you want an affair with me, you’ll have to convince him to go along with it. How does your wife feel about things?” Mom asserted.“Well, she’s been very ... accommodating about this and other ideas. Mostly because she compares you to Naomi Watts and wants to eat you out like Laura Herring in Mulholland Drive. Not that said movie showed any actual cunnilingus, but I believe that was implied offscreen. Yeah, she’s attracted to you, too,” Mitch confessed now.“Tell him that if he wants any such fun, he’ll have to let me screw his wife. Then we can talk about what other sharing to do. I want a gesture of good faith.
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